The Talk

I’m getting more comfortable having the talk. How did you do it? How can I do it? are the questions.

How you live your life is the result of choices. I chose to no longer live by convention and cultural norms. It is at times very inconvenient, almost always involving a governmental interaction; however the vast majority of days are a pleasurable experience.

How did I do it, introspection and fortitude. On top of that were many books, methods, trials, errors, people, places, gifts and miles and miles of walking. My path is not your path and while my experiences may be helpful to you, it is the introspection and fortitude that will create change for you.

I am writing these posts in an attempt to begin answering the second question, How can you do it?

My standard answer when ask this, is to say ‘Why it’s easy, go in to work in the morning and quit’. Often they light up on the word easy and then I can literally see life drain from them on the word quit. You see they have been to this precipice a 100 times and they know they will choose to compromise their true desires, dreams and passions.

As an exercise I suggest playing this out in your mind. Imagine I just told you this and make a list of all the reasons that would immediately start pouring forth.

Change is never easy, it always gives rise to fear and we typically want fear to go away as fast as possible. Therefore, we take the path of least resistance back to status quo. Most of the people I end up in conversation with do not have the choice of status quo returning. It is truly time for them to face change. I encourage you to be proactive and start to listen to your inner voice and identify the imbalances in your life.

May your life go well

PS – Nothing on that list is true.

Seriously Folks

I know there are a lot of serious people here. I admire your conviction and am saddened for your loss. Being serious requires focus, which means filtering out the noise. What are the noises in your life?

You can certainly list the noises you currently rub up against. However, too many times we label something noise, filter it out and then never re-examine our choice. What are the filters you inherited and have never, ever examined? What are the filters you have constructed and have never re-examined? Do these filters still serve you?

It hurts to see people serious themselves out on to the end of the branch until it breaks. I’ve known too many people serious about their careers right up to the day they are let go, get cancer, get indicted or I send their spouse flowers.

More often, I talk with those who know they are hanging out on a branch, knowing how it will end and not able to see a way to avoid it.

Think of life like a set of those horizontal ladder bars on the playground and your stopped half way. The first step to getting across is to start swinging until you can reach out and grab the next rung. What is it that you would reach for?

Usually by the time we are in conversation, you aren’t just hanging there you are squirming, kicking and losing your grip. It is hard to find the rhythm of swinging while this is going on, so the first step is to settle down, quiet down.

So take a day, half day, an hour or even 15 minutes. Take a walk, a hike, a drive, get coffee, go fishing and ask your ‘serious self’ the questions in this post. There is no need to decide what the answers mean, jump to conclusions or take action.

Repeat this a few times and themes of what is brewing inside will emerge. These aspects of you have no room in the serious self you’ve created. Identifying theses aspects is the beginning of working through the status quo and finding a new rhythm.

May your life go well.