The poster to the left is meant to inspire you, it is a trap. It is bullshit.

Thinking like this is what got you where you are. It makes for successful egos, not happy human beings.

“Surround yourself with people who empower you to become better”

Where to even start?

‘people who empower you’ … No one empowers you but you!

‘surround yourself with people’ …. You’ve been surrounded by people all your life, how’s that working? I love the old Ram Dass line, ‘I’ll pretend you are who you think you are, if you pretend I am who I think I am’. We have created so many filters for dealing with people, if it is your way, you won’t pick them, they’ll show up. Dogs, cats, horse, a bug on the sidewalk, even the sidewalk are just as likely to provide you insight. Opportunities to glimpse your true self are literally at every turn.

‘become better’ …   what is better? If you knew what was ‘better’ you would have no conundrum. I do not know what is better for you and it certainly isn’t what someone else has done.

What it should say is:

Surrounding yourself with your true-self is empowerment.

So what to do:

There are two things that will help you begin the empowerment process and both are scalable, so you can begin from any starting place.

First, is to build a container. Find a place where for some amount of time you won’t be engaged by people, phones, etc. Notice, I said ‘engaged by’ not devoid of. Secondly, establish a ritual. To keep this brief I will give an example and leave it to you to be creative. You can start with 5 minutes only on Wednesday if you must and increase the duration, container and change the ritual over time.

For example go to a coffee shop out of your neighborhood or office radius, sit as alone as you can and enjoy your favorite beverage. Do the crossword, knit, journal, people watch whatever you might enjoy.

Commit to doing this for some period of time on a regular schedule. Yes it will be inconvenient at some point, this is when I want you to pay close attention. Did you even notice when you scheduled a conflict? Did you forget? What are the ‘yeh, buts’ of keeping the commitment to yourself?

Likely you will yield the first time and maybe even the 10th or 50th, just go back to the schedule and the ritual. It took 25-30 years to get here; it’s going to take a while to get out. As for the rest of the process, it will take care of its self.

May your life go well