Tag Archives: LI

30 Blows

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In Zen we have a koan – an enigma wrapped in a riddle* – ‘Answer yes, 30 blows; Answer no, 30 blows’. This koan in particular points to one of, if not the hardest paradox of being a human being.

 

The longer you live the more clearly you see the effects of randomness at work. Now you can argue about the word random and call it God’s plan, karma, fate or any other thing. What they all have at the root is not-knowing, there are thing you just cannot know.

Each choice in our life leaves the other path unknown and no matter how clever we think we are, we do not know where either path leads.

Just so you don’t get the wrong idea about my monk-ness and invoking of various theological words and ideas, this reminds me of a whorehouse joke.

Seems there was this poor farm family and on the sons 16th birthday the father walked him a few miles toward the big city to the local whorehouse. He told his son this was the last lesson he could give him, paid the madam and wished him well in life. Sitting on the steps after he had finished his business, with no clue where to go, the madam felt sorry for him and said: you know I need an accountant are you good with numbers? Hanging his head he informed her he could neither read nor write or do numbers and she pointed him in the direction of the big city and shoo’d him away.

On the way he came across an apple tree and not knowing when he would eat again, he filled his pack. Long story short, he sold those apples in the city and 30 years later was a wealthy man and the largest fruit distributor in Gotham. Being interviewed about his life story and success, a reporter says to him: Just imagine what you could have accomplished if only you had been taught to read and write. He quickly responded, why yes, I’d be an accountant in a whorehouse.

The point is, you can only work with what you have, where you are at and neither of those things limits what you can become.

Each junction in your life will lead to outcomes you deem positive and negative. There is no path in which this is not true. Too many of us beat ourselves up for the decision we didn’t make or the breaks we didn’t get, this is a trap. We are all right where we need to be at this moment and cancer, divorce or loss can be just as good of resource as a big stack of money to move forward on our path.

So pick an apple from your tree of life today and have a great journey.

May your life go well

*A koan is not solved by the rational mind. Therefore, people in the zen business object to the word riddle. Likewise, it is ‘seen’ by the student, hopefully, so it is not an enigma – mystery – either. The definition I give here is appropriate for the audience. If you want to know more; google koan and ‘public case’.

 

The Seeker

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They call me ‘The Seeker’
I’ve been searching low and high
I won’t get to get what I’m after
Till the day I die

I am sure you know, this is the opening verse of a 60s anthem by The Who. I should really just post the rest of the lyrics and shut up; they nailed this aspect of self.

We are all seekers; it is a core part of being human. We seek the perfect relationships, lover, job, house, car, city, school … right down to, in my case, the best fish taco. Of course I cannot leave out the ever illusive happiness. We ponder, cogitate, worry and go to great lengths to seek these things out. “I’ve been searching low and high”

It is important to notice, this aspect of self is ‘the seeker’ we do not identify with it as ‘the finder’ for a reason. It is not your seekers job to find things. To top it off, when you do find something, how long is it before the seeker has you looking for the next thing. How much better that will be! What are the things you are perpetually seeking?

Having a well-honed seeker is not a bad thing; it only becomes a problem when you let it have the leading role for too long. There is a time for the seeker to do its job for you and then there is a time for it to retire to the dressing room. “I [the self] won’t get to get what I’m after, until the day I [the seeker] die”

We are all seeking for the way to be happy or at least content. If I was clear at all above; it follows that as long as you are seeking ‘the way’ you will never find it. Sure you may find a better way or even a series of better ways, but in time they will all fade.

The solution is to stop seeking and do the work of being the way. Be in a relationship, be in a job, be in school … stop dreaming of how it could be better and see how good what you have can be.

This doesn’t mean things do not have ends an there are new beginnings. I am just saying give the world a chance to show you that you are in the right place, with the right resources, including the lessons you need to face or learn, to live out the life you want to live.

May your life go well

 

Seriously Folks

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I know there are a lot of serious people here. I admire your conviction and am saddened for your loss. Being serious requires focus, which means filtering out the noise. What are the noises in your life?

You can certainly list the noises you currently rub up against. However, too many times we label something noise, filter it out and then never re-examine our choice. What are the filters you inherited and have never, ever examined? What are the filters you have constructed and have never re-examined? Do these filters still serve you?

It hurts to see people serious themselves out on to the end of the branch until it breaks. I’ve known too many people serious about their careers right up to the day they are let go, get cancer, get indicted or I send their spouse flowers.

More often, I talk with those who know they are hanging out on a branch, knowing how it will end and not able to see a way to avoid it.

Think of life like a set of those horizontal ladder bars on the playground and your stopped half way. The first step to getting across is to start swinging until you can reach out and grab the next rung. What is it that you would reach for?

Usually by the time we are in conversation, you aren’t just hanging there you are squirming, kicking and losing your grip. It is hard to find the rhythm of swinging while this is going on, so the first step is to settle down, quiet down.

So take a day, half day, an hour or even 15 minutes. Take a walk, a hike, a drive, get coffee, go fishing and ask your ‘serious self’ the questions in this post. There is no need to decide what the answers mean, jump to conclusions or take action.

Repeat this a few times and themes of what is brewing inside will emerge. These aspects of you have no room in the serious self you’ve created. Identifying theses aspects is the beginning of working through the status quo and finding a new rhythm.

May your life go well.